


Want A Hit?

by Shnarpiez



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Drugs, F/M, First Meetings, Flashbacks, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, High School, References to Drugs, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-27 11:08:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30121854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shnarpiez/pseuds/Shnarpiez
Summary: Odette Stein only met Connor Murphy once. And that was enough.
Relationships: Connor Murphy & Zoe Murphy, Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen)/Original Female Character(s), Evan Hansen & Connor Murphy





	Want A Hit?

Odette Stein was new. New to everything really. New to this town, new to this school, new to school in general. Being homeschooled for all her life and then suddenly thrown into this school.

..with teachers, and cafeterias and people. So, so, so many people. So many eyes.

Never had she seen so many eyes on her. The school was quite small, so everybody knew everyone. This is using 'knew' very lightly. But it was basically super easy to spot a new student here.

Especially one that stuck out like a sore thumb, like Odette. She shut the door of her locker too loud, or she kept looking at people too intently. 

Everything about this was 'too'. There were too many people walking in the hallway, there was too much noise. There were too many eyes. Too many breaths taken.

Not enough oxygen, not enough space. She couldn't take it anymore, she dashed into the closest room she could find and rested her forehead against the cool wooden door.

Steady breaths, she told herself. Steady breaths.

"Hey." There was a voice. Her heart startled back up again, and she slowly turned around.

There was a boy. A slender and tall boy, he had a full head of brown glorious waves and black polished nails. She...she liked that.

He was in a grey hoodie and long black jeans, and was laying casually across the piano top...with a lit joint in his hand.

"O-oh. Hi," she waved awkwardly.

Despite her dark skin, she could feel herself entering tomato territory. Whether it was because she was shy, embarrassed to be caught in such an awkward moment of hyperventilation or because of how stupidly attractive this guy was without even trying.

"Were you having a fucking heart attack just now?" He frowned slightly.

"Haha," she laughed awkwardly. "No. I-I wasn't."

He sat up, and his legs swung under him, like a kid on a swing.

"What are you doing here?"

"I-I..uh, I just came in here-" to escape. She swallowed the unspoken words. 

Connor leaped off the piano, and walked over to her. She tried to back up, but found herself absolutely still. He was so close, so close that she had to crane her neck up to see him. So close that he tilted his head down to look at her, his hair tumbling past his ears and almost brushing against her face.

He had nice eyes, nice brown eyes like they were made from brown glass. His pupils were also quite dilated, he was high. He smelled like cologne, and some kind of sweet herb.

"Why aren't you running away?" He asked softly.

Odette didn't know how to answer. "Sh-should I be?"

Connor backed up a bit, "you must be new."

She ducked her head shyly. "Yeah, I am."

The silence was unbearable, so she interested herself in tapping her fingers against her thigh.

"You want a hit?" Connor offered up his joint to her. Odette watched a thin snake of smoke twirl from it's head, almost hypnotized. What wasare even happening? This wasn't normal, right? People didn't just give strangers their joints!

"I-" she started.

Connor groaned annoyed, "Jesus Christ, just fucking take it. It'll help with your anxiety."

She hesitated for a moment more before she gently pried it from his long fingers. She glanced down at it with a childlike innocence. Then she heard what sounded like a chuckle, she whipped back to him, and he stared at her with an uninterested expression.

"I...um, thank you..very much, er-" Odette paused to give him an opportunity to introduce himself, and when he didn't, continued, "I...I just don't know how to..."

Connor took the joint back, put it in his mouth and inhaled. When he pulled it out of his mouth, he blew a trail of smoke into the air, away from her face. Odette inhaled it anyway, it felt weirdly full and heavy.

Connor handed it back to her. She took it and followed his lead. And honestly, it felt like a punch to the lungs. She doubled over and coughed violently.

"You'll get used to it," he responded, nonchalantly.

"Okay," she wheezed, "thanks."

"Take a few more drags before you leave." Connor instructed, before opening the door. He headed out to leave, "see ya, new girl."

She blinked after him. Odette had only known him a few minutes, but she could tell his stereotype: the loner school druggy.

So why did he even give her the time of day?

She huffed on the joint a few more times, it was better than the first time, but still pretty bad. However, she did notice throughout the day that she felt better, more free, and lighter. She made a mental note to thank the nameless boy the next time she saw him.

But, as fate would have it, she didn't see him the rest of that day, or the next day, or the two days after that. If the teacher of her homeroom didn't call his name, Odette would've thought she had just imagined the whole encounter.

Connor Murphy. She had learned his name. It wasn't that hard. Every time Mrs. Larson would call out his name and get no answer, some ballsy students would make back hand comments about him getting so high he reached heaven and some stupid crap like that. And despite not even knowing him, Odette always got pissed off. Livid, even.

And then three days after she had met him, the school school announced that he had committed suicide...

Suicide. She had never known anyone who had committed suicide. And now she did. And it hurt her. She scolded at herself, does she even have the right to feel bad? He didn't even tell her his name. 

Does she have the right to be tearing up two days later in the bathroom?? She feels as much of a fraud like Dana P, and she only came to the school yesterday.

What was worse is that the very same students who teased Connor and made fun of him, we're crying around the school and talking about how much they miss him. Like, really?!

How fake can you even be? There's even a shrine outside of his locker. With all that tacky Connor Murphy memorabilia. Odette past by and left a freshly rolled joint that she bought from a random man outside and hid it in a bunch of roses. 

Right before dashing to the girls' bathroom and hiding in this stall to cry. If anyone has the right to cry, it should be Connor's sister, Zoe, and his best and only friend, Evan Hansen. Those are the only people who deserve to cry.

She didn't really talk to them much. Zoe, because she was in a class lower and Evan, because he seemed to suffer from social anxiety worse then she does.

But from what she could tell, they are both being strong during this time. Which Odette commended them on.  
Zoe doesn't seem to want the condolences, and rolls her eyes at every approaching person. Anyone would if they were getting mobbed as much as she is.

Evan just seems to avoid people, and keep his head down, so he doesn't get noticed as much. So, as Odette washes her hands and leaves the bathroom, she decides to speak to him.

She finds him by his locker, rummaging through it.

"Uh, Evan?" Odette mumbles.

He doesn't hear her. She taps his shoulder. He jumps in surprise, and eyes her over. And his sudden movement causes her to flinch back.

"Oh. I'm so sorry. I- I really didn't mean to- I'm so sorry, Odette." He stammers.

"It's okay," she chuckles awkwardly. Two socially awkward people meet in a school hallway.... "I just wanted to say...I'm sorry about what happened with...Connor." She breathes out.

Evan blinks, "oh...thank you."

Her eyes cast down, "must've been...something..to know him personally."

"Yeah," he says. "Um...I'm sorry for asking, but did you know him?"

"What?" She looks back up.

"No, sorry. It's just...uh, it's just that you seem really sad, and-" he hesitates.

"I met him once," she shrugs. "Gave me a joint when I was having a panic attack...it's nothing really. And I'm sorry for wasting your time."

Then she walks off, leaving Evan to stare after her. Huh, signing his cast, giving the new girl his joint to calm her down....maybe Connor wasn't as bad as everyone thought after all.


End file.
